Although I have supported many individuals and groups who successfully changed their working life in the last years, I had an amazing experience three weeks ago.
It happened during the weekly skype session which I do with my personal success team. The evening before I was out with some old friends of mine and one of our topics was our summer holidays. Many of my friends reported about great holidays and complained about how terrible work now was again. In all details they described how bad it was to return to their job after two or three weeks of “real life” and the bulks of work on their desks.
When I asked a women in my success team on her holidays I expected another report on great days at the beach with lots of sun and relaxing. Instead she told me that she had three great weeks. She had started her own business and luckily now she could share with her family what she did. Together with her husband and her little son she visited new locations and met some potential new customers. Her family was happy to be involved and was as enthusiastic as she was. She described everything to me in great detail. Her eyes were wide open and the more she told me the more enthusiastic she got. Not once she talked about lying in the sun, not once she mentioned the word working. She continued like this for twenty minutes.
When she stopped I was completely overwhelmed. I told her what I had experienced the evening before and how very different her answer on my question about her holidays had been. Her answer was: “I am really passionate about what I do now. It is exactly what I love and what I want to do in life. So it is not longer work for me.”
This is what it really is about. If you do what you love then you do not work anymore.
One of my clients asked for my support as he wanted to give his life a new direction. He was unhappy in his job and did not feel rewarded for what he was doing. He was even considering leaving the country and starting completely new.
When working with him on his wishes and dreams I could see that something hold him back. I had the impression that he knew what he wanted but could not get through to it as some private issue stood in the way. Whenever we talked about his private situation he became very emotional. It seemed that he was stuck in an unhappy relationship.
As I wanted to help him I needed him to clarify his private life. So I did a very simple exercise with him.
I asked him to take 4 pieces of paper and write the following statements on them:
First one: “I will stay with her.”
Second one: “I will leave her.”
Third one: “I will do both of that.”
Fourth one: “I will do none of that.”
These four pieces of paper he had to position on the floor as if they build four corners of a quarter, the first two on opposite corners and the third and fourth ones on the other two opposite corners.
Then I asked him to stand on the first piece, to close his eyes and to imagine that the statement “I will stay with her.” has become true. He was standing there completely stiff and told me with an emotionless tone in his voice that he was very happy and that all his dreams have become reality. He really believed what he said but I could clearly see in his body that this was not the case.
So I asked him to move to the second piece and to do the same exercise but now to imagine that the statement “I will leave her” has become true. I waited for his reaction but he did not say a single word. For 5 minutes he neither moved nor showed any reaction. Then suddenly a big smile went over his face. He relaxed completely and said only one sentence: “I feel so free!” He told me that here on this piece of paper he could finally do what he really wanted. After some further rounds of questions I asked him to go back on the first piece of paper and to tell me how he feels there now. Immediately and with a clear voice he told me that he did not want this anymore and was sure that he nows sees absolutely clear what he needed to do.
After this session he ended his relationship and some time afterwards started a new position in another company where he is very happy now. He told me that he only did this because of this little exercise and the moment on the second piece of paper.